Most people understand the need to start new disciplines with goals. Goals are great! Goals range from those easily attainable to the wildest dreams imaginable. Goals are healthy. Goals offer good direction. Where our goals often go wrong is not in the desired outcomes of our goals, but rather where our goals go wrong is in our approach to them. That which begins as a healthy desire to achieve a goal often turns into unhealthy aggression toward ourselves.
You may have already experienced the following pattern after setting a healthy goal. First there is a recognition of need or desire. It could be the desire to start a new routine toward a healthier life. It could be a healthy desire to stop a bad habit. Either way, that is awesome. But far too often, these healthy desires lead to failure and frustration.
What went wrong? Let me begin with a common example, “We want to get physically healthier.” This is followed by a brief or nebulas vision of ourselves being healthier. Positive vision is super healthy. Everything is great so far! Then we set a healthy goal of what we would like to achieve and maybe even start to generate some solid plans of how to get there. Everything is still great so far! Then a some time later, and sometimes only a short time later, we find ourselves not attaining our goals. Often left discouraged, tired, and maybe even physically hurt. One more unmet goal. One more failed dream, and sadly, also, often having lost the very desire to try again. What happened?
There is an unhealthy mindset that can hurt us as we set out toward achieving healthy goals. Let us continue with the goal of achieving greater physical health. Think inside. The future envisioning of yourself as healthier a person is a super healthy start. Thought is a powerful force of good health. Having a positive potential vision is vital.
Yet, an unhealthy twist comes when the present perception of ourselves begins with self distain. If we start our pursuit of a healthy goal with a mindset of self condemnation, then we have begun our hopeful journey to greater health with an unhealthy dose of disparaging ourselves. Once we formulate this aggressive mindset it becomes easy to start attacking ourselves as we are now, in order to get healthier. Please pause for a moment and consider this unique twist of mindset; we are aggressively attacking ourselves in the present to attain a healthier future. Catching the problem?
In this aggression towards the self, we often hurt ourselves as we aggressively attack our goals. Is it any wonder we can experience frustration, burn out, injury, and despair? If our initial perception is, “I don’t like me now.” Or even possibly, “I despise, or hate myself now.” This is over aggression toward self as we seek to achieve healthy goals.
Some might argue they feel empowered in their self loathing. There is motivation in realistic dissatisfaction. An old term for this is “divine dissatisfaction.” This is the desire of achieving even better for oneself, no matter how well we are doing. I agree having a growth mindset is good! Without some honest negative self appraisal how could one recognize the need for greater health, or any growth for that matter? I am not suggesting honest self appraisal is the problem. I would like to suggest that an overdose of dissatisfaction in that appraisal can lead to unhealthy aggression toward self.
Others would argue that aggression is good. I would say aggression is necessary when up against evil. I would further say determination and resolve are incredibly healthy. Discipline is essential in order to sustain of the new lifestyle of health. Discipline isn’t the same as aggression. When our physical body is in the flow of the positive new disciplines and feeling healthy, should we carefully push ourselves further? Absolutely! These are opportunities we have earned through practicing an ongoing lifestyle of health!
What I am addressing with the Art of Restart is the ongoing mindset of necessary Restart in order to maintain our healthy lifestyles. This can be at the beginning of a new set of goals. Or, within an ongoing lifestyle of these goals in order to maintain health. No one is able to maintain a life without some level of challenge, struggle or set back. We need to see this as a part of the program.
I suggest an ongoing practice of the the Art of Restart. Try incorporating this mindset to achieve and maintain healthy goals. Take a moment and imagine you have attained your goal of physical health. Visualize yourself in a healthy positive potential future. What would you look like? How would you feel? The power of this visualization can not be underestimated. Don’t be afraid to imagine your absolute ideal self. In the example of physical goals boldly visualize your ideal physical self. Balance being realistic with being courageously hopeful. You can apply this visualization process to everything; physical, mental, relational, spiritual and more. It’s always a good practice to have an idea where you’re heading.
Next, staying with this visualization, ask yourself some questions. What would you think about yourself then? How would you feel about yourself then? And most importantly, how would you treat yourself then? Of course you would want to sustain yourself though balanced self nurturing? Of course you would want to maintain the gift that is you? You certainly wouldn’t want to do anything that might then aggressively hurt yourself and lose all the good healthy goals you have attained!
Practicing the Art of Restart is a nonaggressive approach toward ourselves as we move toward healthy goals. The Art of Restart invites us to begin gently, and as slowly as needed. We must be certain to appreciate all we are at this very moment; even with all our realistic dissatisfaction. It invites us to nurture the incredible creation we have been blessed to be, right now. The Art of Restart calls for a nonaggressive approach toward ourselves as we seek to achieve the visualizations of our potentials. Gently care for yourself now as though you have already achieved the goal you desire! Affirmation and nurture yourself.
The Art of Restart is one of the deeper teachings of resolve in Kung Fu. We will all meet challenges, in all aspects of life, as we seek to achieve healthy goals. We are going to get tired, injured, experience disruptions, set backs even get completely knocked down from time to time. This isn’t negativity or fatalism. It’s honesty. Life has challenges. And Life has promise. Maturely recognizing the challenges and promise inherent in life is a necessary balance.
Some may say and rightfully; “But I have unresolvable challenges.” It is because of life’s most difficult challenges that we need practice the Art of Restart continually. Restart gently. Visualize healthy goals. Restart gently. Appreciate who you are. Restart gently. Be kind and nurturing to yourself. Restart gently. As though you would having already attained your goals.
Restart every day with gratitude for who you already are and what you already have. Gently practice the Art of Restart over and over within every day as needed. No matter what you are facing today you are alive and have the breath of life within your lungs. There is great power in the gentle Art of Restart.
Time has shown that those who maintain a consistent resolve to gently nurture themselves toward health can sustain their most positive potentials. I have seen many who practice the Art of Restart achieve and maintain their wildest goals, and surpass them. Be encouraged!